Bad things happen. Bad things can happen to good people. And I don’t think we’ll ever really understand why. This last year I experienced loss in a variety of different ways: the passing away of loved ones, loss of friendship, personal trauma and saying goodbye to the familiarity of living at home. Adjusting to change has never come easily to me, but seeing as each of these obstacles produced very permanent changes, I was given no option other than to adjust.
I’m a big believer in learning from the curveballs life throws at me. So I spent 2013 trying to figure out what I could possibly learn from loss while trying to grieve, graduate from high school and go to college. When one of my best friends lost her mom to a long battle with breast cancer, none of us knew what to do. All we could do was be there for her as best as we could. Learning quickly that everyone grieves differently, I thought that once I got back into the swing of “real life” I would be fine. And for a while I was. However, as soon my daily routine began to feel like normal again, I would fall apart all over again. Some might call it a relapse of sorts. Fits of depression and tears would come and go. I would alternate between days and nights filled with exhaustion and restlessness. I experienced mood swings that would’ve put any pregnant woman to shame. But I didn’t want to talk about any of it. I was supposed to be the strong one, I always had been; I could take care of myself. That’s when I “broke” so to speak. One day when I was having one of my episodes, I lost it. I cried for felt like, and maybe was, hours and couldn’t manage to get any words out. My parents have always told me that I am deeply sympathetic, that I feel for other people and their strifes, that I put it on myself as my own. Some might call it the curse for having “too big” of a heart. Well, that was the day my big heart broke.
Since then, I’ve been trying to rebuild and strengthen myself and find my “happy place.” Months later, I’m happier and more together. I’ve made some mistakes and burned a couple of bridges on my way to get to the place I am right now, but I’m better off. I will forever be changing and growing, but I’m loving where I see myself heading. May the bridges I burn light the way.
In terms of this blog, get ready for a fun 2014. Since beginning my freshman year of college, I have become a part of The Odyssey at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign. The Odyssey is a newspaper “written by Greeks for Greeks.” It has been the best experience thus far and I can’t wait to see where it leads me. Writing for the paper has made me realize just how much I enjoy writing and how important it is to me. GOOD NEWS FOR Y’ALL! Girl is comin’ in hot!
I plan to start having posts up every other day during the week and sporadic posts on the weekends. So look for new posts every MONDAY, WEDNESDAY AND FRIDAY. I’m a big fan of alliterations so expect Musical Monday or What-the-Hell Wednesday. Something along those lines.
The biggest change for you all will probably be the content. I am not as passionate about makeup and the beauty community as I once was, not to say that I’m not still interested in it. It will just no longer be my main focus.
I created a new email address that my readers can contact me at. If you have a suggestion, comment, blah blah, whatever, feel free to shoot me an email at email@example.com! However, if your email is business oriented, please continue to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. At the end of this post (in like 2 seconds), I will post links to all of my social media/contact info so… yeah :)
Thank y’all so much for the love and support through it all.
NEW EMAIL: email@example.com